My Life.

@ Thursday, September 1, 2011, 8:10 AM

Sometimes i wish i'd have more of a life so that i won't want or need you so much

@ , 8:10 AM

Sometimes i wish i'd have more of a life so that i won't want or need you so much

@ Saturday, August 20, 2011, 12:37 AM

Hello! its been a day of packing=D and indeed the cupboards are better looking and neater! Time with darling is becoming shorter and shorter. I dunno if i can handle it. Maybe i shd stop pinning. Or expecting.

But when you no longer pin or expect is can be scary too. After one week, the first was Sat not free again. ( but that was sch so fine)Then Sunday have to go home early.

I expected it but i nv expected it to be so freaking hard! seriously I dunno hw much i can take. I really hate last min changes i really do. I hate it so much.

Yet i always get it. And its only week 2of his school. and more to come next time.

I know its hard for both of us. Even more so for him but i just dont feel like replying now. I mean i cant kp him from gg out n stuff in the past i was the wiling one to give him the first place in my time but it doesn mean i can expect the same from him.

But it just sucks. I noe i prob am mean n insensitive or uncaring i dunno la. I just wanna eat my yong tau foo. ARGHH!!!

@ Tuesday, August 2, 2011, 2:48 AM

Wow its been a long time since i updated my blog. I have to keep reminding myself not to slip into a depressed state . Besides there's nothing really worth to be depressed about. HAHA. Well except that i didn make it to Local Uni.

But there was no one to blame i was too preoccupied with senseless stuff and the only way now is to look forward not backwards=D

I got myself a white board to write my daily plan so that i dun slip into daydreaming again and can focus on my studies. This month i spent hundreds on books and stationary and retail therapy to unstuck myself from the depression i feel once in a while.

And the best thing is i dun really noe why i am depressed once in a while. Cant really put a finger to it. But i know i'm gonna unstuck myself and Woo i got a PT job. Recoup some of the mass spending . =x. Kinda overspent.

I haven bought Amanda and Kat's presents! gosh! Prob make something ba. Since i cant pay so much then i shall use Part self made part buy Wooo~~

Anyways i thought of sticking Kat's face on the Idol's T shirt. =D I think she'll freak out! HAHA

Anyways life's been pretty stagnant for a while. And its like you see no virtual light at the end of the tunnel. But whatever it is studies come first for now. Deal with that weird feeling in time to come. =D

I dun wanna cont being like that so i decided to study hard and hone some skills so that i won't feel so left behind.

I gotta snap out of it. Snap snap . HAHA. No i dun wan to share this with anyone becux everyone has their own share of problems mine is a minute one. Magnified only by my weird mind.

Nothing's wrong with UOL business . Its just me. I felt i should have done better. And why didn i think like that in the first place? I also dunno. Prob after i knew dear dear, the world looked different. And i think i want different things now. HAHA.

I am thankful all this time for my friends whom i seldom meet . HAHA. But i should stop depending on them for curing my weirdness. It'only put pressure on others , my bf and friends. Although i know they'll always be there but i am still responsible for my mental health. HAHA.

With dad Buddha please guide me =x

@ Sunday, March 20, 2011, 7:34 AM

I envisioned a warmer and more loving kind of interaction but it seems you're just pushing me away with your words.

I tried very hard to listen and understand you but why do you have to always use hurtful words.

The kind of temper that is so unpredictable and treatment so cold. I really don't know what you want or what you fear or what you are thinking of.

Everyday feels so structured with you. Theres no room to be oneself. Yes discipline is needed but not to this extent. You may want to be very strict with me and produce someone with good results or in the middle and raise and mentally healthy and average kid or you may choose to not care at all.

But you choose to be neither here nor there. You choose to care in a haphazard way. Choose to hurt and discipline but not strict enough to produce an A student. That is the worse hurt. Especially since i know or rather i believe you care and maybe am busy and stressed at work.

Must it be like this?

You feel so distant and as much as i would like to suppress this, i don't think you want to try to understand me either.

@ Sunday, March 6, 2011, 10:37 PM

Time flies and just a few days ago i was still studying like mad for ITFD.

Looking back on the 3 years i spent in Poly , it was filled with much excitement, stress and confusion( over accounting concepts)

I had been very lucky to have had great friends in Poly, People from CSCC who helped me grow up a lot even though we may not talk now.

And there's people who has always been there to help me. Advise me and like the mother of the clique9( Jia Qi) .

I just can't believe that i won't go back to familiar faces to study accounting anymore. Times once passed no matter how good or how bad cannot be relived. Only memories remain. As we live to write our stories longer and longer , times like this become more and more frequent.

And you realize that things must pass, people may change but memories can be created and remembered forever.

Back then in Secondary School, leaving the school and the comfort of my friends and familiarity was all too scary but now i have come to accept all these as part of a big thing called life.

Everyone is heading in different directions , i wonder if i would be able to keep in contact with my poly friends like my Secondary School friends.

Even though now everyone leads a different lifestyle and everything. Its just so great to be able to update each other once in a while. Thinking of the independent Jia Qi and Jia Yi. Everyone takes on a shun qi zhi ran attitude. I am trying me best too(:

Somehow , after many months of unsettlement and worry now i am at peace with myself. Once i see a future of myself as a teacher, all the mess and confusion in my head is not so messed up anymore.

Sitting at home and thinking of many stuff. Applying for part time jobs etc...

I hope i won't be another statistic in the teaching profession(:

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@ Sunday, January 16, 2011, 6:20 AM

HEHE. Haven blogged in a long time. Maybe i dun really noe how important it is to him. But why has it become such an annoying issue. Maybe i need some time to put in in perspective or because it was on MSN. But its Ok. =P Take time to settle it. But then again it will never be settled. it'll end up as a compromise.